Anonymous wrote:

Salam Shamsa!

Inshallah you’re doing great, sister! Three days ago was my 3 year anniversary of converting to Islam, hamdullah! At the moment everything is looking up for me. I could not be in a better place spiritually, but I cannot say the same for one of my best friends. She has gone through a lot over the last 3 years and, in a way, while I was finding myself through Islam, she feels that she’s been lost herself.  After a series of unfortunate events she is now 24; single with toddler-aged twin daughters; and currently not in school. She confides in me constantly about her struggles and I try to help her in any way I can whenever I can. She has told me that, in a nutshell, she thinks her current situation was caused by years of lacking faith in God.
She started showing interest in learning about Islam last Ramadan when I invited her to several iftars at the masjid I attend and ever since it’s been a topic that we often discuss. She often tells me how she sees how Islam has had such a positive impact on my life and “wonders if it will do the same for her”.
Most recently her grandmother has become very ill. She told me that she wonders if she were to convert would God heal her grandmother. This conversation put me in a rough spot. Obviously I make dawah that Allah may guide her to Islam, but I’m worried my friend has a “let’s-make-a-deal” mentality when it comes to having faith in God. I know that Allah wills what He wills and we as His creation must accept whatever outcome, but I am having a tough time conveying that to my friend. Do you have any advice on how I should approach my friend about her concerns? Thanks for reading!
Wa alaikum salaam sister!
Thank you for reaching out to me, and congratulations on your 3 year anniversary as a Muslim. Allah (swt) truly guides who He wills.
I can completely understand and appreciate the situation that you are in with your best friend. As you may know, my husband is also a revert to Islam and someone close to him had exactly the same mentality – they saw that my husband’s conversion to Islam had such a positive impact on his life that they wanted to become Muslim too, hoping that it would do the same for their lives. This person converted to Islam, however, he didn’t practice the religion hence it did not have a positive effect on his life. He identifies as a Christian currently.
I don’t want you to be disheartened by this example, but you need to be aware that something similar could happen with your best friend. By becoming a Muslim your problems are not instantly fixed like it’s some kind of miracle. It truly is about placing faith in Allah (God) and trusting Him to take care your affairs.
Regarding her grandmother’s illness, explain to your friend that this life is temporary and that true happiness can only be found in the next life. We are all going to die one day and nobody is immortal, and true success can only be achieved by worshipping Allah (swt) and doing good deeds which will help us in the next life.
Continue to encourage your friend to look into Islam. Take her to the masjid, show her how you pray the five daily prayers, including waking up at Fajr. Maybe then she’ll appreciate that Islam didn’t fix your life – it was by your obedience to Allah (swt) and worship that your life is on track. If she still wants to become Muslim, then definitely encourage her. If Islam is not for her once she does convert, then she is free to do as she wishes. At the end of the day it is Allah (swt) who guides, and we are just tools to help people find this beautiful way of life.
I hope this has helped you sister, and I pray that things work out for your best friend.
Lots of love,
Shamsa xxx

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